Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Angel on isle 8

I think sometimes I get so caught up in my own life in my own world, with my own things and my own activities that I lose sight on what else is going on in the world. I have never thought of myself as being selfish but indeed I am. I don't get out of my way very often to call a friend or invite one to lunch. I tend to be the invited and not the one extending the invitation. I always say I have so much going on, the kids need this or have this or that going on. When I stop and realize what I've been doing I realize how often I isolate myself. I have to ask...do I isolate myself to protect myself and if so from what? What am I so afraid of? I know that if I am not careful I will land up pushing everyone away. So being the isolator I am, the self centered in my own world kinda gal I am I found God or should I say He found me. He found me the other day on check-out isle number 8. I am a God loving, Christian woman. I go to church regularly, work in the Sunday nursery, go to weekly bible studies, pray all the time, I look like a good Christian woman from the outside. But I have to wonder if I was such a good Christian woman would I still do all this isolating or would I feel good enough in every situation I find myself. I believe I would because I believe that I would love myself as much as my Father loves me. To prove His love for me He shook me to my very core at the very heart of my little world, the grocery store. Like I mentioned before I go to lots of bible studies and I have heard wonderful stories of everyday miracles happening to other people. Of course other people, things like that don't happen to me. I am nothing special. While having a usual day at our local down the street grocery store a young man in front of me was about to pay for his few groceries. He didn't have a club rewards card I overheard his conversation with the clerk and offered him mine. He looked at me in such surprise, really I thought no big deal. The clerk than offered him the brochure so he could get his own card he turned around and asked if that was ok and I said sure in fact great because I forgot something and while I ran back to get it he could fill out the card. He was new to the area and I told him how having a card would be better than using mine, he could earn discounts on gas and other things. So I ran back and grabbed the box of brown rice I had forgotten and when I came back he was just about done and handing the cashier his cash. Then I heard the woman say "are you sure, sir? He turned and gave me a huge smile and waived and walked out. He had handed the cashier money to help pay for my cart full of groceries. I at first said oh no I can't take it, but the young man was already out the door. My eyes filled with tears. The cashier was about as astounded as I was. The reason I had to share this is because later that day I posted this on face book and a friend of mine sent this back to me... "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it" Hebrews 13:2
He was indeed an angel, an angel sent by God to shake me up that day. To show me that I am special and good things do happen to me, I need to stop being so afraid and let life happen and let life in. He loves me and that is all that I need to be good enough, because if I am good enough and so loved by the Lord who gave his life for mine than I am good enough.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Not Me Monday...

Another Monday already??? Geesh where does the time go these days? Well this week I didn't show up late to Nick's baseball game only to realize that we were at the wrong field, nope not me couldn't be, I am totally on the ball and have every time, date and event in my planner. I totally didn't look at the wrong date :) I didn't let Isaac where his cowboy boots and hat and batman cape to the game either, me of course not. On Friday I didn't take Nathan to Sonic for Happy Hour and let him eat an entire banana split by himself, that would just be way to much sugar for his seven almost eight year old body, and I didn't totally enjoy an ocean water as well and then proceed to walk around with blue teeth for an hour or so. I didn't lay on the couch for two hours last night so I could watch the series finale of Lost, geesh on the couch for two hours that would be impossible. I didn't wake my darling husband up in the middle of the night on Saturday so I could ask him where the monkey was on the I spy game and then continue to have a conversation about the game while completely asleep, nope! I never talk in my sleep, that could be soooo dangerous and really embarrassing! (Note to self don't play I spy with Isaac before bed time....I wonder if he looks for clues in his sleep too?) Well what have you not been up to this week? Happy Monday all!
Check out MckMama's blog or click on the "Not me Monday" box on the right to see what others have not been up to this week!

Friday, May 21, 2010


Well what a month this has been. Full of ups and downs with tons of loops and twists thrown in as well. Isaac has not been doing so well. His behavior is getting harder and harder to deal with. I pray every morning when I first open my eyes before my feet touch the ground that God will teach me to be the mommy that Isaac needs. I thought that the older he got the more he would understand and the easier it would be to calm him. Nope I couldn't have been more wrong. The older he gets the more severe his meltdowns are. I think I have been walking around like a sort of zombie for a few months without even realizing it until the last week. I feel exhausted to the very core of my being, and naps just don't cut it at this point.
He went to see a new doctor last Friday, Doc S. is an amazing and wonderful person. Isaac is usually very temperamental with strangers especially strangers that are doctors and have waiting rooms. We walked into the office and the atmosphere was wonderful and as soothing as a spa. There was soothing music on in the background and everyone there spoke in quiet calm voices. The paint was even neutral. I loved it...there were a few toys in a basket in the corner for him to pick over, no overwhelming cartoons blasting on the usual mounted tv ( totally not knocking those either, they provided my other children with hours of entertainment at our other pediatricians office in the past), no bright colored paint or heaven forbid a colorful mural, and no other children in the waiting room. Isaac and I sat on the floor to play for all of two minutes until this calm and collected doctor came out and greeted us. Isaac stood up shook his hand and walked us into his office. I was very ready for this appointment, I started packing for his days in advance. In Isaac's bag were crayons, coloring books, sketch paper and blah blah blah. Everything and anything I could think of that would keep his attention long enough so that I could maybe have a conversation with this new doctor. I was put at ease instantly, I think Isaac was too, his mood and behavior were beyond awesome! For the first time in a long time maybe ever...someone understood me, understood what my days are like, validated me and didn't want to pack me up and ship me out to the looney bin. Finally and I think Isaac felt it too, someone understood us! After (drum roll) two hours, yes two hours in a teeny tiny office he gave us a few recommendations. Isaac is now on some amino drops another drop that has an extremely long and hard to spell name and is on a glutten free diet (again!). I am so happy and optimistic about this new journey. Today was a week on the diet and drops and today was an extremely difficult day, but we are on our way and that is a great start!