May....

Well what a month this has been. Full of ups and downs with tons of loops and twists thrown in as well. Isaac has not been doing so well. His behavior is getting harder and harder to deal with. I pray every morning when I first open my eyes before my feet touch the ground that God will teach me to be the mommy that Isaac needs. I thought that the older he got the more he would understand and the easier it would be to calm him. Nope I couldn't have been more wrong. The older he gets the more severe his meltdowns are. I think I have been walking around like a sort of zombie for a few months without even realizing it until the last week. I feel exhausted to the very core of my being, and naps just don't cut it at this point.
He went to see a new doctor last Friday, Doc S. is an amazing and wonderful person. Isaac is usually very temperamental with strangers especially strangers that are doctors and have waiting rooms. We walked into the office and the atmosphere was wonderful and as soothing as a spa. There was soothing music on in the background and everyone there spoke in quiet calm voices. The paint was even neutral. I loved it...there were a few toys in a basket in the corner for him to pick over, no overwhelming cartoons blasting on the usual mounted tv ( totally not knocking those either, they provided my other children with hours of entertainment at our other pediatricians office in the past), no bright colored paint or heaven forbid a colorful mural, and no other children in the waiting room. Isaac and I sat on the floor to play for all of two minutes until this calm and collected doctor came out and greeted us. Isaac stood up shook his hand and walked us into his office. I was very ready for this appointment, I started packing for his days in advance. In Isaac's bag were crayons, coloring books, sketch paper and blah blah blah. Everything and anything I could think of that would keep his attention long enough so that I could maybe have a conversation with this new doctor. I was put at ease instantly, I think Isaac was too, his mood and behavior were beyond awesome! For the first time in a long time maybe ever...someone understood me, understood what my days are like, validated me and didn't want to pack me up and ship me out to the looney bin. Finally and I think Isaac felt it too, someone understood us! After (drum roll) two hours, yes two hours in a teeny tiny office he gave us a few recommendations. Isaac is now on some amino drops another drop that has an extremely long and hard to spell name and is on a glutten free diet (again!). I am so happy and optimistic about this new journey. Today was a week on the diet and drops and today was an extremely difficult day, but we are on our way and that is a great start!