Monday, April 4, 2011

Trusting Vs. Texas


I write this with a heavy heart, I'm absolutely not forgetting all the many great things and huge blessings that are happening in my life right now, I couldn't! However today my heart hurts today I wrote out all the invitations to Isaac's big 5th birthday, he's really excited he told me last night "Mom when I tell how old I am I just give them a high five or a wave because that's five fingers right I'm five fingers now". So cute, he is absolutely precious and has the biggest imagination and the mouth to go with it, he makes me laugh all the time. I wrote out fifteen invitations for his party and this year I couldn't write one out to my parents or my brother because they are all out of town and won't be here for his birthday, this my friends is a first and not one I'm at all happy about. I love family, it's probably the biggest part of my whole life, in a perfect world I would have every relative living within 100 miles of us. I'm really afraid that those days are over, my parents are on there way right now to Texas and they are really considering moving there, it's full of opportunity for them and with the recession and all our little town is just not recovering as quickly as we need it to so my brother is considering taking a job in either Colorado or New Mexico and that means we will be out here all alone. So this may be the first of many birthdays, and holidays that will be celebrated without any family. I have to just pray and have faith that God will work this all out and all of us will be taken care of and be happy, I know we will all be OK and eventually all will work out and I do trust that everything happens for a reason but it still hurts my heart. I wish I could just pack us all up and move with them but I'm learning as I grow in my marriage that, that just isn't fair to my poor husband. He is my world and I love him more than anything and I need to put him and his needs first and put my feelings and wants on the back burner at least for a little while, this is something that will take time for me to get used to and he doesn't understand why this is all so hard for me, poor guy I guess he just doesn't understand the bond between a daughter and her mom and dad.

2 comments:

Laura said...

(((HUGS))) I know how much your family means to you and I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. You're mom and dad have been apart of your everyday life for as long as I can remember. I'm always here for you if you need me.

Momma StJ said...

I can't imagine being away from my parents. My husband left his family in Quebec to move here, and only on occasion does it seem to bother him. One day he wants us to move away- and I'm sure my heart will break. Praying for you that you all are able to have a joyfilled party for your son!