I have a song in my heart

Happy Hump day Y'all I hope it's going well so far. I've been extremely busy the last couple of days, the hubby and I are hosting a wine tasting at our house tomorrow night, so I've been running around getting everything ready for that. We are having such a great turn out that sadly to say I may have to practice saying no sooner rather than later, the wine consultant can only get so many pours out of each bottle and we have met our capacity, so I'm crossing my fingers that no one else calls to come. I am excited about it, we've never hosted anything like this before so we will have to just wait and see how it goes, although I think it's going to be great!

I was washing the dishes the other day and listening to the radio, while I watched the kiddos play outside and terrorize the neighbors. I wasn't really paying much attention to what he was talking about until I heard him say "Most people die with their music still inside them". He went on to talk about how so many of us have God given talents that we don't use or share with others because we are too embarrassed or we are waiting for the opportunity when we are good enough at it or simply waiting for our anxieties to dissipate so we can step out into the spotlight. I loved this and it struck something in me at such a deep level that it brought tears to my eyes. I pondered this question to myself the entire sink load of dishes. What is my music, and why am I keeping it inside, do I want to be one of those people that let it die inside of me just because I don't have the guts to let it out, because of my fear of what others will think? I have lots and lots of things I want to do, but I'm constantly waiting for the opportune time to do it, but as I get older and life gets busier I'm realizing that tomorrow is never promised and if I am blessed with tomorrow do I want to fill it up with busy work or with moments I will remember for the rest of my tomorrows. I need to start getting out of my own little bubble and starting figuring out what exactly my music is and how I can share it. So I came up with a list of a few things I will do before the end of this year, nothing big like traveling the globe, but little things I can do to take a step of my comfort zone, help others and get to know myself a little more. So the first is (drum roll please) I love to work out, I'm at the gym at least five or six days a week, zumba is my favorite class and I'm good at it, so why not learn to teach it. That is absolutely stepping out of my comfort zone (for those of you who don't know me very well, I'm kinda shy), so this March I will be flying to San Diego to get my certification and then I can start teaching! The second is that I'm absolutely in love with photography, I think that's why I've stayed hooked in the bloggy world for so long, I love photographs and I would love learn to do it myself, so in August Isaac will be starting kindergarten and I too will be going back to school, I'm really excited about this one. I also want to take a vegetarian cooking class, I love to cook and being that I'm a newbie at the whole vegetarian thing I would love to learn to feed us all in a more healthy way. And last but not least I want to start listening to the subtle nudges God gives me everyday, I want to do good things for others, I want to buy total strangers desert on night just because, I want to help little old ladies cross the street. I think this one hits home because right now I see how much Manuel and I model behavior for our children and I want them to see that we are all connected and we need to love each other and take care of each other. I want my children to see that their mom lived, I mean really lived, took chances, loved so deep it hurt, prayed so hard her knees were sore, and danced until she couldn't pick of her feet anymore, and really folks isn't that what life is really all about, LIVING, so I ask what are we all waiting for. There is always going to be carpool, and basketball practice, but one day that final day will your music die still inside of you?

Daddy got a new toy!

My husband works horrible hours and a lot of them. He usually ony gets Sundays off, so that time is so precious for us. After church yesterday we came home and he went straight to work, a good home kind of work. He put together a gift the kiddos got for Christmas, a big indoor basketball thingy. We have an unfinished room in the basement that the kids have taken over for themselves, and little by little we are making it a game room for them. They have a hockey table, and a TV with their video games systems hooked up, a train table and now the basketball thingy.
So yesterday with all of them downstairs playing or working on projects I had a lot of quiet time upstairs, it was very nice. So about five or so, (I thought he would be so far into the football game that I wouldn't see him all evening) he comes running up the stairs...Hurry Hurry I really want to make it to Costco before they close, which I replied OK well what's so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?

Well this was what he wanted, a new toy for his man cave! I thought it was totally sweet, and they all enjoyed it last night. I think he told me this morning that they ate like 24 cups of popcorn between the four of them last night. I loved it! He was totally into the kids and they were equally just soaking in this precious time with him. Oh how I love my man!

Buying diapers...again!

Now before you jump to conclusions, yes I am buying diapers again, but no I'm not pregnant. I'm buying diapers today because of a sweet little girl named Riley who today is celebrating her 8th birthday. She is in class with Nathan and her mom and I have known each other for years, we met at bunko long before our kiddos were ever classmates. This year for Riley's birthday she decided that she doesn't want any gifts for herself and instead wants all the kiddos to bring either canned goods to donate to the local shelter or diapers to donate to the Crisis Pregnancy center. What a sweet girl! So yes I am buying diapers today, and what a gift they will be.

Isaac misses his friend

My sweet Isaac, oh where to begin. He is in preschool this year at the most wonderful school. It's the kind of place that wraps you in its arms the second you walk through the door, it's been such a huge blessing for our family to have him there. Isaac has an extremely hard time in social settings, he tends to be very shy and he tends to isolate himself and suffers with anxiety and over stimulation (he's been seeing a doctor for it since last spring). At the beginning of this school year a sweet little girl named Savannah took him under her wing and they became the best of friends. She was his first friend ever, and he need her so very much. Each day he had school he would jump up and get ready as fast as he could so he could get to school to see her, she was the reason he liked school so much. She taught him how to play games, share toys and play with the other children. To me she was an angel. Her mom and I began planning play dates on a regular basis, it's like they just couldn't get enough of each other, it was so sweet. Well S's dad is an opthemologist and he took a job in Utah, so over Christmas break their family moved. My Isaac has been devastated ever since. Each day he asks if he has school and pouts when I tell him yes, and now most of the time gives me such a hard time when I try to leave him there. He has other wonderful classmates who want to be his friend and a wonderful teacher but he misses his friend so very much and I do too. It's such a hard thing as a mother to see your children hurting, and in your heart knowing that there isn't anything you can do to help them, only time will heal Isaac's heart.

High Maintenance

Two years ago our beloved pug Sara, passed away. This was the first pet my husband and I had together. We always laughed at the way Sara joined our family. My husband and I had just gotten engaged and we went to the mall to go look for our wedding bands. I was completely overwhelmed at the selection and at that point didn't know much about diamonds or rings or even jewelry if I'm totally being honest. You see I was only eighteen ( my husband and I got married, three days after my 19th birthday). So feeling totally overwhelmed I told him that I needed to think about it and it would be a good idea to take a walk. Being that we were in Flagstaff and it was winter time we decided to just walk around the mall and see what stores there were, we were still pretty new to the area. So we walked past this tiny pet shop and I glanced in, as I usually would (see I'm not a big dog or cat person). And low and behold this sweet crinkly face ugly thing captured my heart. I turned right around and went in, and I was instantly in love with her, and had to have her. So that night my husband and I went home with a puppy instead of wedding rings. She was such a great dog, as we had kids she just became that much better, she would let them poke her and pull her curly tail, she never snapped or barked at them. She had the sweetest disposition about her, we couldn't have asked for a better dog. Well like I said two years ago, but now that I think about it this summer it will be three years ago our beloved Sara passed away, and I was just sick about it. Sick like I've never been before, I cried for days. I had people tell me that I needed to get a new dog right away but in my heart I new that no other dog could replace her, so I didn't and just began to move on. Well that's when someone decided that I needed a dog and gave me one, his name is Kingston, he's a three year old Yorkie. He and I share a love hate relationship, nothing like I had with Sara. He is super high maintenance and some days like today, he makes me crazy, and just when I think about giving him away he is the sweetest cutest thing ever. So is it that after a whole life of thinking I'm not a dog person I am, or is it I'm just a sucker for a cute face?

Yup I made that!

So in the case that you are still living under a rock, I thought I might pass along a wonderful blog I came across a while back. The Pioneer Woman (www.thepioneerwoman.com ) is absolutely phenomenal, she is a mom, a homeschooling mom at that, and a fabulous cook. I've been using her recipes to feed my family for a little while and let me tell you not one of her recipes has let me down yet. Some of my favorites are remakes of old classics, like tonight I made her meatloaf, and yummmo!! Nathan immediately asked if we could please put it on the make again list, and probably in the top three. He said it's the best he's ever had. I should've been sad that he didn't like my recipe better but hers has Parmesan cheese in it and hot sauce who wouldn't love it? So just a little FYI, have a great night!

What a Wednesday, and it's only noon

Today started off great, went to the gym, did my weekly weigh in ( I lost seven pounds so far!!). So at this point my confidence level is high, my chin is up, nothing in the world can beat me now kind of attitude. I get home, things are at this point still running smooth. I decided to shower and get ready, although didn't have to do much, we got to wear our workout clothes to bible study today ( I will get more into why in just a sec). We are just about out of the door and on time when Nicolas frantically runs into my room and lets me know he can't find his jacket and it's probably at the park we visited yesterday. I'm lacing up my sneaks thinking well that's just great, because I still have to find Isaac's shoes, run over to my mom's to pick something up, go find this lost jacket, and make it to school on time. That's it, well usually. I would've gone into panic mode at his very second even just a week ago. So we pile in the car, Isaac has on a pair of shoes two sizes two big, but oh well we are out the door, I'm in and out of my mom's house in under a minute and we dashed to the park to find Nicolas' jacket patiently waiting for him on the bench. We are cruising once again listening to great music, saying our morning prayers and low and behold we are even two minutes early to school. Yay me, I rock at this whole mom thing. I get to Isaac's preschool he goes into class nice and smooth and then finally, finally I get to focus on myself again just for a second and as I'm walking up the stairs to my bible study I realize I forgot my book, my pens, my pencils, my highlighter, my bible well everything! All of this brings me to my point, do you think as a culture of moms/parents we have allowed ourselves to get just too busy. I mean I just wouldn't feel right if my kids grew up and didn't know how to play an instrument, be a world class athlete, know a foreign language and have gained every sacrament a good child should. I sit in my bible study group and listen to all of these moms and realize how similar we all are, have we all just become too busy? (yet each time I take away such profound new ideas to try out on my kids). My question is are we too busy trying to raise what the world sees as good kids instead of raising really great kids, who know what a board game looks like instead of a video game, who can retell their favorite bedtime story, who play outside and get dirty but more importantly love God too? Am I the only one outside of my bible study group who feels such pressure to be so perfect, and for my kids to be so perfect? I mean would the world stop spinning if we didn't let our kids join every sport know to man? Would my husband still love me if my house wasn't always perfectly clean, and a gourmet meal waiting on the table, would he love me more if I was thinner. Would my kids be happy and content having more time at home, or more so do I even know how to do that in the first place? So I'm rambling I know, but with how busy our life is I tend to ramble and be a bit of a whirlwind because well that's what a busy life looks like, never have enough time to be fully present in the moment, in any moment. So the work out clothes, well toady's lesson was all about taking care of ourselves, I know long story for such a concise ending. I guess that's what it really is about though, how much time and energy that I spend on everyone else that my needs, wants and all are so limited. Well like I said it's only noon, so I think I will take a much needed nap, and enjoy some cuddle time with Isaac because of course don't you know, we have a very, very busy afternoon!

A risotto and wrestling kind of day...

Sometimes it is just the best being a mommy to all boys, and well other times I feel very out numbered! Last night we went to see the Harlem Globetrotters, it was so much fun, we all laughed a lot and had a great time. It's amazing to see how Isaac is able to join us for such outings now. He laughed and ate popcorn until I thought he'd puke for sure. Today we all slept in, well except for the hubby he is at work today, so it's just me and the boys. We must of all needed the sleep because we slept until almost ten, which is unheard of in this house, my boys are all early risers, I usually hear their little feet hit the tile about seven. We got up and got busy, we have a lot to do today. So instead of being unprepared like I was last night when it came to feeding us all I decided to cook today although I can't complain those Digorno pizzas were pretty good. However I don't think frozen pizza is so good two nights in a row. So I made wild mushroom asparagus risotto for lunch, which will actually be dinner. I used the usual risotto rice but I've had this bag of forbidden rice in my pantry for a while so I decided to mix them. It was so yummy and so colorful. The black rice turned the risotto the most beautiful purple color and combine that with the mushrooms, asparagus, onions and pecans and it was colorful and yummy! I am a huge fan, no pun intended ( although I would like to be a smaller fan) of the show The Biggest Loser and I remember Bob saying that the more colorful your food the better it is for your body, Americans are so used to eating everything and all things beige, and at this point I couldn't agree with him more. My plate was beautiful, colorful and disgustingly clean and yummy. I think I will need all the energy my wonderful lunch gave me too, remember how I started this post with how much I love being the only girl in the house, well tonight...well it's just not going to be one of those kinda nights. We are going to see live wrestling tonight. I know yuck, well for me anyway. I think I would rather stay home and scrub the toilets until one could eat off of them, but I guess I just have to suck it up and join in on the "fun". So I would love to have any and all prayers passed my way, I will absolutely need them to stay awake through it, or keep my lunch down. Oh well, and if my memory serves me right I think the Home & Garden expo is coming up so all is fair. Happy Saturday!

Attitude is everything...

Today I had to relearn an old lesson once again. A is for attitude and attitude especially mine is a choice. A choice I choose to make at the beginning of each day. I can choose to be cranky (like I did this morning!)or choose differently and see what blessings will be brought before me. This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. When I get in this funk it's admittedly hard to get out of. I think it's my let down after the holidays. With all the hustle and bustle the holidays bring it's hard for me sometimes to look at my calendar and only have a couple of have to's on my list. I am a very structured person and I don't think I do so well, or change that it takes me a while to get used to not having a bazillion things to do. I know that sometimes I complain about the business of it all sometimes but then again I think I like it, the constant adrenaline of it all.
2011 has taken it's sweet time moving in. I can't believe we will be entering the third week of January and I haven't posted since November. I could do a recap but that would take so very long so new year new blog, and we'll just start from here.
WOW started back up last week, and I couldn't be happier about that. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's Women of Wisdom and I feel liked such a blessed soul to share my Wednesdays with such a wonderful and blessed group of women. This time around I'm doing Effective parenting in a defective world. Wow, what a fabulous book ( by Chip Ingram) so powerful. Although after last week's session I was convinced that I was ruining my children and it would be for there own good if I just left them off to be raised by a pack of wolves, obviously they could raise my children far better than I ever could. This week however much better, thank God, I was really nervous! So far I've learned (sorry I know this post is winded, but I guess that's what happens when I let two months go by) that the best thing I can give my kids is the real me, flaws and all. However the real me should also be more Christlike and the more Christ like me is what I want to become, because the more Christ like I become the more they will too. So as I see it, it's a win win opportunity for all of us.
A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40
So since I haven't yet...Happy Happy New Year, I hope it's full of blessings, love, good changes and good attitudes, because as I learned once again today attitude is everything!